Peace of mind
by Nalyx
Summary: His heart broke every moment that he saw his lover cry and as he watched the blond fall into hysterics, he felt himself fall deeper into depression.


Gentle fingertips glided across soft, pink cheeks and caused the sleeping blond to stir. Big, blue eyes opened and scanned the area rather quickly, a hint of anxiety and fear radiating off the petite body. The redhead shushed him soothingly and caressed that cheek to reassure him. He gave him a soft smile and turned the blond's head to look at him.

The blond almost instantly relaxed and then came the tears. This was always their routine. Axel would go to bed with the blond and made sure he'd be there for him to be awake. It had been a few years since the accident that caused Roxas' short term memory to become disrepair and every day started with tears. It made Axel's heart swell and ache and all he ever wanted to do was hold onto the blond and reassure him that they were okay.

He recalled every single moment that happened during that accident; the swerving car, the impact, Roxas' bloodied self slipping into unconsciousness as he looked on in horror and fear. He held the blond close to his body and gave his forehead gentle kisses, unfortunately for Roxas he was constantly reliving that memory and waking up in a panic thinking that his Axel was hurt or dead.

"Shh, Roxas it's okay. You're here. You're safe. I'm safe." That's what the redhead said every morning and then Roxas would reply with the same thing.

"But! the accident! What happened!" It broke Axel's heart seeing the fear and confusion in those beautiful eyes. He had to always going through the gorey details and relive that memory with his lover, so that's exactly what he did.

He endured the tears, the hurt, the hysteria. He endured the anger and the hatred Roxas had towards himself and he wondered every goddamn day why it couldn't have been Him. Why couldn't he had been the one to suffer brain damage? Why did it have to be his sweet, beautiful Roxas; who use to wake up with a smile and happiness, but now wakes up with tears and depression.

 _'It's incurable.'_ The doctor had said. _'he'll never be the same.'_

 _'You should find someone else.'_ Roxas had told him.

His own angry, hot tears slipped free and it caused him to hold Roxas' cheeks and kiss him deeply. He knew the blond wouldn't know why the he had the sudden outburst because he couldn't remember telling him that. He couldn't remember their happy moments since that terrible day and it broke his heart over and over and Over again.

"Axel. Wha-?" There was no room for words anymore, just love. Axel would fill him with so much love that maybe, just Maybe he'd get his Roxas back. Maybe if he loved him enough those wounds would heal, he was hoping, praying from his very core that that would happen.

He pinned his lover down, clothes began to shed off and soft pants and moans filled the formerly quiet room. Preparation came quick and then he was rocking into his lover, whispering sweet words filled with adoration and want. This seemed to be the only time that he got to see His Roxas. The only time that he got to watch the pain wash away and be filled with love and pleasure.

He closed his eyes and just let himself Feel. He felt those nails scratch down his back, that breath ghost against his neck, those legs quiver with delight. He heard those moans of his name laced with euphoria and unfortunately it had ended too fast. They both cried out and clung to each other and it felt like he couldn't get Close enough, even as he buried himself deeply in his lover.

"W-why...do you stay with me?" Roxas said once he regained control of his breathing. Axel felt his heart sink to his gut as he gazed upon that tear stained face, "You can't be happy Axel."

He wiped those tears away with his thumbs and touched foreheads with him, "Every moment that i'm with you, I feel happiness. It doesn't matter what we go through as long as we're going through it together. We will find a way Roxas. We will be happy, just try not to give up."

The blond was speechless and he couldn't find it in himself to argue so he buried his fingers in that thick mane of hair and nodded, "I'll try..."

"...Roxas. Do you remember Anything at all?"

"...I remember that you love me."

Axel chuckled and gave him a long, tender kiss, "Damn right I do."


End file.
